Monday, January 21, 2008

Pavlov's Democrats

Today Obama said “If elected I will make pomegranates the planetary fruit of Neptune.” And of course the Democrat faithful reacted with their usual enthusiasm and optimism of a future filled with hope.

Obama and Hillary’s secret of course is Pavlov. The DLC has trained its constituents to drool as a reaction to the stimulus of hearing Hillary or Obama speak especially if they use key buzzwords like “change” or “hope.” Of course hope is not a plan nor is change whatever that means and of course since these nebulous terms mean nothing you can read into it whatever you wish to.

When you wish upon a star,

It won’t get you very far.

Sung to the melody of when you wish upon a star of course.

If you have never read Barry Crimmins you really ought to check him out.

Here is an excerpt just to whet your appetite.

Unless, in an attempt to minimize the deleterious climactic effect of heated debate at a deadlocked convention, Al Gore accepts the nomination, the Dem nominee will be Clinton or Obama. Many of us have already gone through the uniquely American process of glorifying one or the other of these venally ambitious people (or worse, one of the R's).

I can't do that because I understand a basic truth: he or she who wants to be in control is a dick and probably crazy. The premise behind most presidential bids is shockingly simple: I've looked at the entire world and there is one glaring problem-- I'm not in charge!

Let us form a committee and worship you, oh great and infallible one.

Ridiculous as that sounds -- that's exactly what many people do. Then they try to influence the rest of us to fall in line behind a stump-speaking blowhard possessed of not even a hint of lactose intolerance to the green mother's milk of politics. And if we question or challenge their American Idol, we risk the swift-boating of our own common decency.

The thing is, emotionally and intellectually mature people should have a healthy distrust for those who want to be in charge. They seek to rule us. I don't know about you but I do not seek to be ruled. Would-be leaders aren't strong so much as they are shameless and needy. Usually they are just self-loathing, hypocritical weaklings who feel that the extra authority and special privilege of high office will somehow camouflage their massive character flaws.

So as much as I will take great joy in watching W(easel) leave town a year from today, I assume that on that day, as on this, most Americans will be more excited by the prospects of the NFL playoffs than by the prospects of a new megalomaniac extolling the virtues of their particular brand of leadership. Enjoy the games.